


When in Doubt, Freak 'em Out

by CorpseCally



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Mild Language, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 11:38:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9489371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CorpseCally/pseuds/CorpseCally
Summary: Keith never really gave his dry lips much thought. It was just normal for him, especially with his lip licking habits. Sure he could afford to spend a little more time applying lip balm but it's not like he NEEDS to have soft lips, right?





	

Dry lips were an ongoing issue for Keith. It wasn't something he ever really gave much thought. Being a mechanic led to many concerns but chapped lips was towards the bottom of that list. Keith knew Blistex could only work so well, especially with his lip licking habits but it wasn't like he needed soft lips, right? 

Well... that's what he used to think. 

Dating Takashi Shirogane opened new doors to new insecurities he never knew he even had. Keith didn't exactly have the worst habits when it came to personal hygiene but he won't deny to showering once a week and wearing the same underwear for more than one day. He would get four days out them to be exact.

Forwards, backwards, inside out, and turn it around. Not that he went around sharing the fact. 

That, of course, all changed when he started dating. Showers once a week turned into once a day, twice if he worked that day, and underwear was changed everyday. Shiro never complained about Keith being smelly from work even when they weren't dating but that didn't mean he didn't smell bad at all. The last thing he wanted was to knock out his boyfriend with his stink fumes. 

Keith even made it a habit to brush his hair. He never used to brush his hair. It was always pulled back into a ratty ponytail and his greasy bangs that he let grow too long were pinned up. He still wore his hair the same way most days, it just looks cleaner now. Although his new hair routine was tedious it had it's perks... Shiro liked to comb his fingers through his hair. 

"It's soft." He would say. "It just like silk!" Keith would scoff at such a comment but he never told him to stop either. 

Then came his current new insecurity... his lips. The imperfection he never thought twice about came back to haunt him. 

Shiro and Keith had shared their first kiss about month into their relationship. It was nothing spectacular or romantic. It was casual which suited Keith just fine. They were hanging out in Shiro's apartment watching some craptastic movie. Shiro had made a comment about one of the actors. 

"I guess anyone can be an actor..." It was clearly a low budget movie so acting would be sub par at best. "I wonder if I could be one?" 

Keith snorted. "Sure any fuckwit could be an actor... doesn't mean they're gonna be a good one." 

"Are you saying I would be a bad actor?" Shiro pretended to wipe away a tear. "I'm hurt." 

"Bite me, Shirogane. I'm saying we're watching a shitty movie with shitty actors." He turned to shoot him a glare. "You might want to brush up on the fake crying though." Keith smirked. 

Shiro hummed and shrugged it off. "Well I do have one thing that he doesn't..." He pointed towards the tv screen. The actor was shirtless now for some reason. 

"Oh, let me guess-" Keith made air quotes with his fingers. "Talent." 

“No. Abs.” 

Keith was stunned silent for a brief moment before he looked at the screen then back at Shiro. He tried to hold back the stupid grin that was pulling at his lips but the urge to laugh was too great for him to fight off. Keith was laughing and soon after so was Shiro. When their laughter started to die down they were touching foreheads. 

That was when it happened. They both went in for a giggle filled kiss. It was brief but warm. Shiro was smiling when he finally spoke- 

"Man, you've got some dry lips!" 

Keith nearly choked. He lifted a hand to brush against his own lips... they were dry. They were always dry but hearing that from Shiro hurt. He started to chew at the dead skin, thinking of some sort of come back but nothing came. 

Shiro took notice. "Shit I didn't mean it like that." He placed a comforting hand on Keith's thigh. "I ran my mouth without thinking. I'm sorry, really I am." 

'I should have put on lip balm today...' Keith thought bitterly. He couldn't stay mad at Shiro when he knew he never meant any real harm. "It's fine." It wasn't. Keith nearly jumped out of his skin when Shiro leaned back in for another kiss. He shot up a hand to push him back. "The... the movie. We need to finish the movie." 

Shiro didn't say anything. He simply turned back towards the tv and they watched the rest of the movie in silence. 

They haven't kissed since that time but thankfully it wasn't awkward between them either. Keith told himself they didn't have to kiss to be dating. That didn't change the burning desire to smooch his boyfriend to smithereens but he couldn't do that with lips drier than the Sahara desert. 

He began applying Blistex more often now as well as keep his lip licking to minimum. So far he hasn't noticed a drastic change. His lips still had a few chaps but they weren't as dry as they used to be so that counts for something. Keith's efforts would be pointless if he didn't get more lip balm though. 

After he closed up the repair shop for the day, he shot over to the local drugstore to pick a few more tubes and a few other necessities. Keith makes a beeline for the lip balms with a basket in hand. The plan was to grab the Blistex first so he could hide it underneath the other things he needed to buy in case he ran into anybody he knew. 

However, cruel reality had other things in store for him. Just as he turned into the aisle, Keith saw the last human being in this entire world that he wanted to see. 

"KEITH MY MAN!" 

Lance. 

"Hey buddy~ What brings you here?" Lance sauntered over and threw an arm around Keith's shoulders. 

"I came here to buy things Lance." Keith shrugged off his arm. "You're awfully chipper this evening..." 

"Why wouldn't I be? I get to see my bestest buddy for the first time in YEARS! Anyone would be excited about that!" 

"I saw you this morning... I said hi to you..." 

"That felt like forever ago! Besides that doesn't count! It was only in passing... It's been awhile since we really got to talk in person." 

Lance was right about that much. It has been sometime since they last truly spoke to each other, not including phone calls and texts but those were fairly brief most cases. As much as Lance got on Keith's nerves easily, he was still a good friend and one of the most loyal you could ever find. 

'It's too bad he doesn't have an indoor voice...' Keith thought to himself. 

"Yeah it has been awhile. I'll admit that. I guess we've all been busy with one thing or another." 

"Busy, yeah..." Lance stroked his chin as he cracked a wolfish grin. "Busy with your boy toy." 

Keith winced. "Boyfriend." 

"Oh come on! Are you telling me you and Shiro haven't gone on crazy hot escapades!" 

"There's more to a relationship than sex Lance..." Keith started looking for the blistex before he wasted anymore time standing there bickering. "We go on dates, we hang out, we hug and we... kissed..." 

"Yeah, once and then you called me crying like a baby about ruining your relationship." 

He whipped around to face Lance. "I did not cry like a baby!" He did cry though. It was frustration mostly, but he still in fact cried. Lance had been the first to hear about his new fears since he started dating Shiro. His advice wasn't always the greatest but if there was one thing Lance was good at, it was listening. 

"Uh, yeah, you totally did and that's why you're here trying to throw those lip balms into your basket while I'm talking like I won't notice." 

Funny how selectively observant he can be. 

“Fine… You caught me.” Keith threw up a hand in mock defeat. “Now will you please let me finish shopping so I can go home and shower.” 

Lance didn’t respond as quickly as Keith expected. He remained quiet as he stared at Keith. Wordlessly, Lance scanned over the selection of lip balms before grinning and turning back to his friend. 

“You want something that’ll solve that lip problem of yours real quick?” 

The look on Lance’s face was concerning to say the least but before he could respond Keith felt his pocket buzz. “Hold that thought.” He pulled out his phone to check what it was. “It might be my boss you ass don’t look at me like that.” He said when he noticed Lance was giving me a disapproving stare. 

It wasn’t his boss messaging him. It was Shiro. 

(6:25 PM) Hey baby~ Hope your day went well. Just checking to see if you’re still up for movie night <3

“It’s Shiro. Isn’t it?” Lance tried to peek at his phone but was promptly shoved away. 

“Mind your business Rivera.”

(6:26 PM) It was pretty uneventful today. Closed up early. But yeah I’m still up for movie night. What time are you heading over? I’m at the store right now want me to grab anything for you? 

“You’re smiling~” 

“Fuck OFF Lance…” 

(6:32 PM) SWEDISH FISH THE BIG BAG NOT THE SMALL ONES If there’s no big bags then just get two small ones. Maybe a can of Monster too? 

(6:33 PM) Oh and I’ll be there around 8 I’ll keep you updated incase I get off early! 

Lance started to tap Keith’s shoulder with whatever he was holding. He starts to swat at him but he doesn’t let up. 

(6:37 PM) You’re getting an Arizona Ice Tea and you’re gonna like it. You’re not drinking that crap on my watch. I’ll see you soon Shiro~ <3 

“Alright Lance, what it is…” 

Lance let out a wicked cackle. “The answer to all your prayers!” He nearly hits Keith’s nose as he shoves the package in his face. “A totally wise and super awesome friend once said-” Lance prompts his friend to take the product. “When in doubt, Freak ‘em out!” 

“How original…” Keith gives him a skeptical look. He takes whatever Lance was holding and briefly scans the printed text. “Lip Freaks…” He’s never heard of the brand. “Atomic Cherry, huh? Sounds interesting enough.” It was probably just a regular stick of lip balm. 

“Interesting indeed! Trust me… this stuff is the bee’s knees.” 

Keith scrunched his nose. “No one says that anymore” He knows to takes Lance’s praise with a grain of salt but still, it couldn’t hurt to try it out. “Do I really even have a choice though?”

“I will buy you every last one in stock if it gets you to use it.”

“It won’t but fine… I’ll give it a try if you’re that determined.” 

Lance fist pumped with a bit too much enthusiasm. “Sweet! You made the right choice my friend! Now let me help you with the rest of your shopping!” 

“You… really don’t have to…” It ended up falling on deaf ears. Keith wasn’t really upset about it though. Lance was great company and this was a chance opportunity to catch up since they last got hang out. His only complaint would be he somehow ended up purchasing pricier products at Lance’s “helpful” suggestion. Keith didn’t need that fancier brand of shampoo and conditioner but if it makes his hair softer for Shiro to run his fingers through then he’ll buy 100 bottles worth. 

They were just about to part ways when Lance gave him a thumbs up. “Whatever happens, don’t forget that you’re a fucking catch and if he breaks your heart let him know I’ve seen enough crime shows to know how to hide a body!” 

Keith can’t help but laugh at that. Lance was no pushover but there’s no way he could take on Shiro. “I think I’ll be alright. Take care ya shitneck!” 

“Back at you fuckface!” 

Having said their goodbyes, they finally part ways. Keith ends up speeding home without meaning to. He doesn’t exactly live far, 10-15 minutes max, but he was eager to get home so he could shower. Keith was at the store longer than he had planned so chances were he might not have much time to prep. 

He fumbles his own keys from being a little too anxious. When he’s finally in he breathes a sigh of relief to see it’s only 7:10 which meant he had enough time to shower and tidy up. Keith can feel his heart hammering in his chest as he opens his closet. ‘What the hell am I so nervous for?’ He snatches a shirt and pants at random, black of course, from their hangers. ‘Because you want to kiss Shiro…’ A little voice in his head answered him. 

“Damn it!” Slamming the closet door shut, Keith stomps his way to the shower hoping he would feel a little bit more calm afterwards. 

He didn’t. 

The next few moments were spent nervously inspecting the entire place for any mess or imperfections. He adjusted picture frames that were fine the way they were. He fluffed pillows that didn’t really need to be fluffed. He just needed to keep his hands busy. 

His phone buzzed. 

(7:42 PM) Be there in ten! 

Keith breathed out the breath he didn’t realize he’s been holding for too long as he lets himself relax on the couch. At least he tries to relax… he kept bouncing his leg which only managed to put him more on edge. 

(7:45 PM) Doors open for you 

“It’ll be fine!” He starts thinking out loud. “It’s just a movie night like all the others! Quit fucking sweating about it!” Easier said than done. “You’re gonna watch another shitty movie with your boyfriend… your boyfriend that you really, really like…” Keith rubs his heated cheeks. “Your boyfriend that you’re terrified to kiss…” He sighs in defeat. 

(7:47 PM) That’s not safe what if a burglar breaks into your home and I can’t be there in time to save you :c 

Keith rolls his eyes but smiles none the less at his phone. Typical Shiro… He could practically see that puppy pout of his. 

(7:48 PM) I think I can take on someone dumb enough to walk into a stranger's house while their car is parked in the driveway. 

“He should be here soon…” Keith pressed his thumb to his lips. They weren’t dry but… were they soft enough? “This is so fucking stupid.” He cursed his feelings. It was just him overthinking the situation that’s getting him so worked up. Everything was fine. It was going to be a good night. He won’t mess things up because- “Oh… right…” He remembered the lip balm he got. “I won’t hear the end of it from Lance if I don’t actually use it.” 

(7:50 PM) Almost there! 

Shiro sent a kissy face emoji immediately after. 

With fresh resolve coursing through his veins, Keith snatchs the lip balm from the bag on his coffee table. He applied a generous layer to his lips. It felt like any other lip balm. “Lip Freaks… yeah… sure…” Keith tossed the tube out of sight. “The only freaky thing is one tube of lip balm costing five bucks. I could have gotten a three pack of Chapstick for some change less.” He would have to yell at Lance later. 

“I’m here my love!” 

Keith glances at the clock as Shiro makes his way towards him. “You’re 2 minutes late.” He shifted over to make room for his boyfriend on the couch. “So what riveting masterpiece am I going to suffer through this time?” 

“You’re sarcasm has been noted. You are about to witness a cult classic!” Shiro pulls out the DVD case. 

“So you’re making me watch a shitty horror movie?” Keith vaguely recognizes the title from somewhere. It might have been one Lance raved about once or twice. 

Shiro huffed in defense. “Just because it’s a bit aged that doesn’t make it bad. Maybe it happens to be one of my favorite movies!” He turns to set up the TV. 

“Oh, excuse me then! Let me try that again.” Keith clears his throat. “So you’re making me watch a shitty movie that just so happens to be old? And we both know that’s not your favorite movie.” 

Shiro settles onto the couch. He spots the bag on the coffee table and starts to shift through it. “Yeah, you’re right. I like comedy movies more anyway.” 

“You mean romantic-comedy movies.” 

He shrugs. “Same difference.” Shiro takes out a small bag of Swedish Fish. “Guess they didn’t have the bigs one then?” 

“Nope. For what it’s worth I got you three since the last time I bought you two, you whined that you still wanted more.” 

“You’re too good for me!” 

“Yeah, yeah…” Keith glanced the other way. He didn’t Shiro to see the small smile he knew was forming. “Oh and I didn’t get you a Monster.” Shiro had some questionable taste. In most cases, Keith could let it go but the line had to be drawn somewhere. 

“Baby, I’m in tip top shape!” 

“Keep drinking that swill from Satan’s fiery dickhole and that’ll change real quick. You will not be drinking Monster’s on my watch.” 

Shiro only laughs in response. It was loud and wonderful. The kind of laugh that makes Keith stomach do flips. He went quiet as the movie started to play. They both made themselves more comfortable. 

Not even a few minutes in… something felt odd. Keith couldn’t quite place what was wrong. It wasn’t until he goes to take a sip of his own drink where it dawns on him that his lips were tingling slightly. He chose to ignore it and carried on. ‘It’ll pass soon enough.’ It doesn’t. The tingling turned into a burning sensation the further into the movie they got. The burning reached a point where Keith could barely focus on what was happening on the screen. 

“Keith…” Shiro looked worried. “Are you alright? You seem kind of distracted.” He starts to twist his body around so he could face him better. “Don’t tell me you think the movie is that boring?” He teases. 

He didn’t know why he thought it was a good idea to blurt out the first thing that popped into his head but he did just that. “My lips feel weird.” It was the truth. 

This took Shiro by surprise. For too long he could only just stare at Keith… his surprised expression soon morphed into something unreadable. He was still stone faced when he held the back Keith’s neck. “... I’m going to kiss you…” His fingers began to lace into his hair. 

With his heart lodged into his throat,Keith shut his eyes and expected it to be quick just like the first time but instead it was long and lingering. The burning feeling on lips was now a sweet buzz. He let a content sigh escape when Shiro pulled back. 

“Your… lips…” 

Panic started to sink in. Were they still dry? Did that Atomic Cherry flavored balm taste bad? Keith chewed at his lip as he looked at anything but Shiro. 

“... Am I dying?”

That was harsh. “Shit if they’re that dry even after all the effort I put into fixing it then don’t fucking kiss me anymore!” Keith was ready to kick him out. 

“No!” Shiro grabbed his shoulders. “That’s not it. I don’t care if they’re dry I’d still want to kiss you even if you didn’t have any lips!” He blushed. “It’s just… mine are tingling. Burning? Buzzing? That’s never happened before. It’s freaky almost… I-in a good way!” 

“Freaky?” He remembered the lip balm. “Lip Freaks!” Keith practically jumps over the couch to search for the tube he tossed without a thought. “I got this stupid lip balm. Lip Freaks! I thought it was just an overpriced tube but then it started to burn my damn lips!” He sits back down, balm in hand and starts searching for the receipt in the bag. “What fucking lip balm burns!? Fuck, I wonder if I can return it…” 

Keith was so wrapped up in his own little world that he didn’t even register Shiro taking the tube from his hands. 

“The strongest buzzing lip balm in the whole world…” 

“What the hell are you talking about?” 

Shiro is eerily calm as he hands the lip balm back to Keith. “Read what it says. It’s supposed to do that.” 

“... strongest buzzing… lip balm… in the world?” He was right. So nothing was wrong then. “Shit that makes sense now.” This whole thing could have been avoided if Keith had taken the time to actually read the product information instead of just taking it to shut his friend up. Although, one would think he would have at least noticed that BUZZING was in rather large print. 

Shiro cleared his throat. “So- you… wanted to ‘fix’ your lips?” 

“You said they were dry.” 

“I did…” Shiro really wishes he had chosen his words more carefully that time. “That doesn’t mean I didn’t want to kiss you. I figured it was just you being nervous. You kept licking your lips!” 

“Well I maybe I was a little nervous!?” 

“You could have told me!” Shiro looks as if he’s been offended. “I would happily lick your lips for you! I’ve been trying to steal kisses left and right from you! You haven’t exactly made it easy on me…” 

“That would only make them more dry you- you… fucking hell I can’t deal with you!” He wanted to sound angry but he couldn’t. Not when he had a big stupid grin on his face and a rosy flush that reached up to the tip of his ears. Hearing that Shiro wanted to kiss him too was so relieving he could cry. 

Shiro looked fondly at the way Keith tried to hide his smile. “I think you deal with me pretty well.” He laughs. “No one else puts up with me like you can… I can barely stand me!” 

That made Keith choke on a laugh. “That’s horrible!” He managed to cough out. Shiro started to laugh with him. They laughed until their stomachs hurt. When their laughter died down into giggles they were touching foreheads. “Shouldn’t we be watching the movie…” 

“Oh no! Absolutely not! You will not deny me another kiss!” 

“Or what?” He nearly chokes again when Shiro begins to pout. 

Shiro sniffs as if he’s about to cry. “I’ll be sad.” 

Keith can barely hold back his snickering. “Oh you poor oversized baby! I guess I could kiss it all better…” 

“You guess? Excuse you-” Shiro was cut off by Keith’s lips. The buzzing sensation had long since subsided but the kiss was sickeningly sweet. “I wonder…” He mumbles. Shiro leans back a bit to inspect the tube of lip balm again. 

“You wonder…?” He waited for his boyfriend to finish his thought. The longer Shiro chose to stare curiously at it the more impatient Keith became. “Less thinking, more kissing!” That earns a laugh from Shiro. 

“Hold on there, Tiger~ We’ve got all the time in the world for that.” The big toothy grin he had on his left Keith breathless. “So the label reads ‘freak out your lips’, right? Does it only freak out your lips?” His voice was low and suggestive. 

Keith chuckles while shaking his head. “You’re a pig.” He nearly yelped when Shiro trapped him in a tight bear hug and began to make obnoxious oinks. 

“But I’m your pig!” Shiro oinks once more and smacks a sloppy kiss at the base of Keith’s neck that makes him snort from laughter. “And you love this piggy!” 

“I’d really love it if you would stop!” He didn’t stop of course. Shiro would oink in between kisses and Keith would kiss him back. The movie was long forgotten. They had no clue what was happening and didn’t really care much to rewind it back to find out. It was a perfect night. 

‘I guess Lip Freaks was the answer to my prayers~’

**Author's Note:**

> This was taken from my side blog on tumblr. I haven't written a story in eons and honestly this idea I came up with was kind of stupid? But who cares because I had fun writing it. It's very loosely based on my own stupid mistake. 
> 
> Basically, I wanted to buy a lip balm to leave in my bag. I saw "Lip Freaks" on a stand by the registers and thought "OH Atomic Cherry sounds fun sure I'll get it!" And so I did. And I tried it. I almost cried. My lips felt so weird and had I read the BOLD PRINT maybe it wouldn't have been half as horrifying. 
> 
> I'd like to think Keith would make a similar mistake. You know, miss the painfully obvious. Thus was the birth of this horse manure right here.


End file.
